Back to Class! But Mom, I haven't got all my supplies yet.

Today is a big day for me. For my closest family and friends know who I am and they alone know that I’ve been a bit of a yoga-holic since my early teen years. The thing is that I’ve become a bit of a closet yogi. I trail around from place to place and I always take my beloved mat with me practicing alone when I am in times of trial or tribulation. 

When you grow up in a community with about 3000 people there’s not a lot of choice in how you activate your body. You have a grand total of about 6 options. Walk. Run. Ball sports. Hockey. Curling. Figure Skating. So when I was about 14 someone brought home one of those at-home yoga kits for me with the VHS included (DVD was newish then). I became hooked. I’d say I watched and did that yoga video about 200 times on the same old cheap, chemically infested, rag of a mat. Despite what I know now. I thought yoga spoke to me from that early point. 

When I eventually got through the first disastrous semester in college I joined a class in the Humber Community YMCA. I practiced with Maureen Barry for two years in the group form. She was an amazing person who introduced me to the pranayama and meditation of the yoga life. 

Since then I’ve finished two degrees and continued home practice although I did pretty much give up on practice for about a year while living in St. John’s Newfoundland. The reason was that my apartment (still my apartment) is very low ceilinged and I’m about 6ft tall so doing the standing poses can be challenging. But despite everything I’ve finally found enough balance to re-enter my full time practice in yoga. 

Unfortunately, I’ve come to a realization. That I’m going to go into a Hatha Flow 1 class at a local studio and have very basic control over my body and breath. In short form, I suck. I keep telling myself that suckiness isn’t a factor with yoga. And I know it isn’t but I’m re-entering my practice by starting off in a group structure which can be very intimidating. I have to fight today to keep my affirmations positive throughout the day. Then when the time comes I get to enter a bright new space with a brand new (and not chemically noxious) mat and a brand new attitude towards my life. 

It’s important to remember that my goal is to be on a path again instead of waviering like I’ve done in the past year. For a point of interest, I’ve given my mat a name: Metis which means “wisedom, skill, or craft”. Metis is a goddess. So is my relationship with my mat.